Quite the Opposite
by EskLee
Summary: Following the events of the scene by the lake both Lily and James find it difficult to think of anything else. James especially worries that this time he's gone too far and that Lily will never forgive him.


**Hi everyone! Sorry for the silence of late but here is something in honor of the 19 years later September 1st. It's a small one-shot that I've had sitting around for a while. Anyone who follows Aurors, I'm so sorry I haven't had anything new in months, but I promise it's not forgotten. The downside I suppose of having deadlines for original work. Thanks to my amazing roommate for Beta reading this!**

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James managed to smile and laugh with the other Gryffindor's as the usual end of term party went late into the night, but it had not escaped his notice that one Gryffindor fifth year was not present in the common room. He wanted to apologize to Evans; even he could admit when he went too far. James reached up to ruffle his hair before stopping mid-movement, remembering what Evans had said about it. Sirius and Remus plopped themselves down on the couch next to him, both with bottles of butterbeer in their hands.

"Cheer up, Prongs! If you keep that frown, you might just start following the rules next year," Sirius said, tossing over a bottle. James took it, but did not pull the cork out. He had positioned himself to have a clear view of both the stairs to the girls' dormitories and the portrait hole, hoping to see the mane of red hair. Sirius' eyes followed his gaze, and he barked with laughter.

"Don't tell me she actually upset you, it was only the 400th time she's turned you down." Sirius clapped James on the shoulder and, seeing Peter struggling to carry a full box of dung bombs, quickly went to help before the entire common room exploded. James faked a smile as Sirius, overdramatic as always, made a massive scene by pretending to drop the box many times. It was not Evans' constant refusal to go out with him that prevented him from enjoying the party.

" _You're_ _as bad as he is_ _!"_ That was what Evans had shouted at him. Evans had called him many things before – prat, spoiled, big headed. Even toe rag was not a new insult, but she had never accused him of being like a Death Eater. No one had ever said anything like that to him. Remus, who was now flipping through a book and ignoring the party just as much as James, spoke without looking up.

"You're not. Lily was just angry. Anyone would be after what Snape said to her." He said it quietly so that no one would overhear the conversation. Remus, though just as clever and mischievous as Sirius, always seemed to be able to see right through him. If James did not know of his friend's code of honor, he would suspect that Remus was a Legilimens. Only when James did not reply did Remus look up from his book.

"You're not as bad as the Slytherins. If you were, I doubt we would be friends," he said calmly. James did not like the gaze Remus gave him. True, James did not run away screaming just because Remus was a werewolf, but sometimes he wondered if he would have been so accepting if Snape had been the werewolf rather than Remus. Remus did not say anything more, but continued to watch his friend closely.

Eventually the party calmed down as people slowly became too tired to continue stuffing their mouths with the stolen kitchen food. James found it difficult to sleep, even though there were no OWLs to study for. Only Transfiguration was left, and as he was by far the best in the class in that subject, not to mention an animagus, he felt no need to study. He knew that even if he knew everything about the subject, if he did not get sleep, the exam would not go well. He went up with the rest of the Marauders, but he soon found himself sitting back down in the common room – Peter's snoring had only made James toss and turn more.

The common room was dark, with only the embers of the fire to outline the shapes of the furniture. He went to sit back down in the corner of the couch, but jumped up quickly as someone swore loudly.

"Merlin's pan—who's there?" a girl hissed, and James felt the pointed tip of a wand poking into his chest. James held his hands up before realizing that being in the dark hardly made this a useful gesture.

"Evans, that you? It's James," he said quietly. He felt the wand disappear from his side.

"Oh, it would be you," he heard Evans snarl as he groped the couch to find a place to sit where he would not be encroaching on her space. "Why are you even up?" she snapped at him.

James was thankful for the dark so that she could not see his face. If he didn't want to tell the Marauders why his mood was so sour, he certainly did not want to confide in the person who had caused his restless mind. The two of them sat in silence.

"Why aren't you in bed?" he asked her. Even though he could not see her, James thought he could feel the anger radiating off her. Considering he was currently the main source of her anger, he did not expect her to respond, but the silence was very uncomfortable.

"I didn't want the girls' pity. You?" she asked quietly, and James stared at the light outline of red from the dwindling light of the fire, surprised. Would she insult him more if he admitted that her words had actually caused him enough discomfort that sleep before an exam was proving elusive? He decided a to try a different tactic.

"Pity from the girls? Did something else happen?"

She kicked him hard in the leg, as if to remind him that her current mood was at least in part his fault. He quickly apologized and moved his legs out of range from her shoes. He was starting to regret his decision to stay on the couch after he'd discovered that she was in the common room. The common room fell back into the uncomfortable silence. James was just about to get up from the couch when Lily spoke again.

"Severus was threatening to sleep outside the portrait hole unless I talked to him again. He wanted to apologize for calling me…well, you know." Lily's words drifted off. It was the first time since that afternoon that James felt anger his anger bubbling up again. How could Evans be so hard on him for jinxing the Slytherins when she was ready to forgive Snivellus for leaning towards the Dark Arts and calling his supposed best friend something so horrible? But keen to avoid another fight, James forced himself to keep his voice calm.

"That's good of him. I know you're close friends," he said, meaning to sound sincere, but his voice fell flat. He could feel her bright green eyes boring into him.

"I didn't forgive him," she said softly. "The sod wouldn't even deny that he was heading towards joining the Death Eaters after school."

The pleasure James felt from hearing Lily call Snape names made him feel much better than he had for hours. At the very least, even if she was still angry with him, Lily was no longer hanging around the slimy git. A Muggle-born so constantly in the company of a Slytherin was only ever going to end up one way. He could live with Evans hating him if he must, but at least he wouldn't be finding her body in some corridor after Snape lost his temper.

"Is that why you hate him so much?" Lily asked after their longest silence yet.

"Uh," James stalled, not entirely sure what answer would not cause Evans to jinx him. "Well, I'm not fond of anyone who uses the Dark Arts. The whole lot of them just want to be above everyone else. Like Voldemort would ever allow anyone but himself to be the one on a throne." His voice went cold and steely. Only yesterday had he received the news that yet another member of the Order had been found dead under the Dark Mark.

There was only the smallest intake of breath from Lily as he said Voldemort's name, but it sounded more like surprise than fear. James ignored that, though his mind went back to her words at the lake. He wondered whether after explaining just a little bit to Lily about why he hated Snape and the Slytherins, she still would think he was as horrible, and the words spilled out of him before he could stop them.

"Do you really think I'm just as bad?" he asked quietly.

"I—oh." Lily said, and James regretted the question immediately. She was not one to say things she did not mean. Angry or not, there must have been some truth in what she had said by the lake. He got up from the couch and started to leave the common room, but a hand caught his arm. James hoped that she did not feel the jolt of electricity that she sent through his skin. He stopped moving, his heart beating fast.

"You're no Death Eater, James, quite the opposite," she said quietly, and with a gentle squeeze of his arm, she left the common room. James stood there a moment longer, knowing that he had no right to feel the warmth rising in his chest. Not only did Lily not think he was not as bad as a Death Eater, but it was the first time he could ever remember her using his first name.


End file.
